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LARRY:

Let me think. What can we do about getting six more dwarfs?
MARGARET
(appears)
We do what we always do when we find ourselves short an actor or two.
LARRY
What’s that?
CYNTHIA
Call the UPS guy?
MARGARET
No! We recruit!
(to audience)
Anybody out there wanna be a dwarf?
RECRUITMENT MUSIC begins to play as Margaret, Larry, Jason and Cynthia comb through the audience to get six more dwarfs. It would be best to find six very tiny kids to contrast with their leader, Jason, who will pretty much share the stage with them for the rest of the show. Once six kids are chosen, they are placed standing around Jason, who really juts out from the pack.
MARGARET
(to audience)
Let’s have a big hand for our six dwarfs!!!
(audience applause)
Continue with the story, storyteller!
(Margaret leaves)
JASON
(sarcastically, indicating size differential)
Oh, this REALLY works!
LARRY
Get your dwarfs ready to perform!
Jason scoots the kids to the side, where he will distribute their dwarf names. As Larry continues to speak, Cynthia mimes the action he describes. (She may use any and all set pieces she wants, as determined by the director. The more actually she can create the interior of the cabin, the better.)
LARRY (CONT’D)
(to audience)
Snow White sneaked into the adorable little house, and ate a tiny bit of porridge from each little plate, and sipped a smidgen of water from each little cup, and then felt the mattress on each little bed until she decided that the seventh bed was the firmest and most comfortable. So she lay down on that bed, and fell fast asleep. Meanwhile, the seven dwarfs, who lived in the little house, returned home from a hard day’s work digging for gold in the mountains. As always, as they walked home, they sang their favorite song.
JASON
(leads kids in a circle and sings)
Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s home from work we...
LARRY
Uh uh! No. Pick another song.
JASON
Why?
LARRY
Copyright infringement.

JASON
What?
LARRY
Just pick another song!
Jason picks some kind of silly contemporary pop hit. The kids join in and march around the stage for a bit. After a bit, Jason stops them.
JASON
(as dwarf)
Dwarfs! Halt, one, two!
(they do)
As you can see, we have arrived at our house! It’s time to do our daily return-from-work inspection. Dwarfs Greg and Peter, step forward!
(the kids do)
Dwarfs Greg and Peter, inspect the front door to make sure it hasn’t been open. Then report back to me!
(the kid checks the imaginary door)
Well, has it been open!
(he will no doubt respond “Yes”)
It has! Dwarfs! We have been invaded! Prepare to enter the house, in defensive mode! Do as I do!
Jason gets into some silly defensive walking position, and leads the kids into the “house” area.
JASON
Now that we are inside, we will inspect the kitchen. Dwarf Marcia! Step forward!
(she does)
Check the plates on the table to make sure nobody has eaten any of our delicious porridge or sipped from our sturdy cups!
(she does this)
Well! Has the porridge been eaten?
(she will respond in the affirmative)
It has!!! Our dinner has been sabotaged!
(to audience)
That means somebody ate it.
(to dwarfs)
Dwarf Jan, step forward! Dwarf Jan, go into the bedroom, and see if our beds have been slept in!
(she does)
Well, report to me, Dwarf Jan! Has somebody slept in our beds?
(she reports in the affirmative)
Well, that clinches it! Time to get that alarm system installed! Dwarf Bobby, step forward! Dwarf Bobby, go into the bedroom, and tell me if the intruder is still sleeping in one of our beds!
(he does)
Dwarf Bobby, what have you found?
(he reports that Snow White is sleeping in one of the beds)
Someone is sleeping in our bedroom? Who?
(answer)
What does she look like?
(answer)
Do you think she can beat us up?
(answer)
Well, then, this is what we’ll do. Dwarf Cindy, step forward!
(she does)
Dwarf Cindy, you look like the bravest dwarf of all. So it will be your job to go into the bedroom and wake up the intruder!
(she reacts)
It’s s dirty job, kid, but somebody has to do it. And don’t worry, I’ll be right behind you!